Boned!

Boned!
Studio album (comedy) by The Twelfth Man
Released	2 December 2006
Recorded	November 2006
Genre	Comedy
Length	2:36:00
Label	Channel Nine, Warner Bros.
Producer	Billy Birmingham David "Froggy" Frogatt
The Twelfth Man chronology
The Final Dig? (2001) Boned! (2006) The Box Set (2009)

This article is about the album. Since the album, "Boned" has become an Australian slang term which refers to someone losing their job or something being cancelled.

Boned! is the eighth and final album to date, released by The Twelfth Man, released on 2 December 2006. The album's title Boned! comes from the press reaction to the Mark Llewellyn affidavit that revealed that the then Channel 9 Television CEO Eddie McGuire wanted to sack, or "bone" Today presenter Jessica Rowe.

Boned! officially debuted on the Australian ARIA Charts at #1 on 11 December 2006 and has been given 4x Platinum accreditation, with at least 280,000 copies being sold to date.^[1]

Story

Due to the recent spree of cost-cutting at the Nine Network, new CEO Eddie McGuire has "boned" the entire cricket commentary team, and replaced them with one person; The Twelfth Man himself, Billy Birmingham. Naturally, this gets the team's captain Richie Benaud incredibly mad ("you've what!"), as Birmingham has made a living from impersonating them for over 20 years, with no compensation whatsoever. This marks the debut of Nine's English commentator Mark Nicholas as a character not dissimilar-sounding to Austin Powers, as does Alan Jones and Eddie McGuire.

This has led to Richie attempting to get himself and the team their jobs back by running "Operation Kill Billy". This includes appearing on Alan Jones's breakfast program and starting a petition, all to no avail. Also he seeks the assistance of the Prime Minister John Howard to get their jobs back.

Their plans are interrupted briefly by an injury crisis for the touring English cricket side (described as a "complete spare parts side") which sees Tony Greig and Mark Nicholas, as well as Graham Gooch being recruited into the team for a test being held at the WACA Ground, without much success. Mark and Tony get badly beaten up by the 'conquering' Australia.

Richie engages the help of Australian music legend Michael Gudinski, and then Australian Idol host Andrew G (according to Benaud "Andrew V from channel G") who attempts to teach the commentary team how to speak like rappers. The team does a cover version of Birmingham's hit "Marvellous," with a modern rap rock edge, which fails badly. The song features backing vocals from Jimmy Barnes (and his children), and Johnny Diesel.

In the end, Billy tenders his resignation to McGuire, stating that it is the most he has ever worked, and that the job affects his love for the game of golf. Richie and the team, unaware that Birmingham has resigned, offer to pay him out to the tune of $1.6 million, which Birmingham sneakily accepts anyway, resulting in a furious reaction from Benaud upon learning he needn't have given him the money.

Track listing

Disc 1

1. The Boning!
2. The Golf Course
3. The Dream
4. Team Meeting #1
5. The Shithole #1 (the New Office)
6. Alan Jones Radio Show
7. The Shithole #2
8. The Gabba - Australia v. England First Test

Disc 2

1. The Gudinski Meeting
2. Martin Place
3. Team Meeting #2
4. Team Meeting #3
5. The WACA - Australia v. England Third Test
6. Marvellous!
7. Sorry Eddie
8. The Shithole #3
9. The Lunch
10. Sucked In

Media

On 26 November 2006, The Sydney Morning Herald interviewed Billy Birmingham regarding Boned! and the 12th Man series.^[2]

Chart positions

References